The Secret to Get What You Want – Just “GIVE”!

Here is the secret to get what one wants. It is just giving. The reasons for it are based on the well-known philosophical dictum “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” The egg, and the chicken that is born out of it, create the circle of life, and form the basis for a profound comparison for attaining and giving what one wants: the circle of joy. This brilliant concept is analyzed in the clear voice and lucid prose of Masami Sato, the author of the book named ONE.

As humans, many of us have longings for all kinds of things. And of course, theories of economics inform us that while requirements are unlimited, resources remain limited. This provokes us to think, the more the range of resources that we have, the more the longing that we will be able to fulfill. That is why we tend to defend our resources. We feel that dividing it between others or giving the resources away will reduce the amount we can retain to get what we ourselves want. This is the basic game of success and failure that is being acted out.

Is this true, then?

What if the answer was “no”? What if it actually contradicts the secret of getting more? What if the secret to get more is simple – by giving more?

A person can get a thing by the simple act of giving. In the same way that he can get eggs by breeding chicks. In the most simple way. Naturally. Spontaneously. And it is a fully satisfying joyful sensation.

First, let us start with a little analogy to explain more.

Chicken and Egg: The Circle of Life

Many a philosopher has come out with this question from the beginning of time, “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”

The answer to this endless discussion is simple: It actually doesn’t matter because both chickens and eggs are here now. But if we want to have more great outcomes, we can choose to start somewhere.

Giving and Receiving: the Circle of Joy

What if we asked a different question? “Which comes first, giving or receiving?”

Again, if we want to have greater results, we can choose to start somewhere. Giving something to others is surely so much easier than trying to get it first!

What is the outcome, when we try to get it first?

If we hope to have something, surely we would try to acquire it. And once we get it, we would cling on to it. This is surely natural – it makes sense rationally.

But the real results of ‘trying to get’ are often not abundance and real long-term rewards.

For example, hoping to see others happy is not at all about deriving joy from them, or manipulating them to become happy. It is about how much happiness we can give them and thereby share with them. Full stop.

So where do we start to get what we want?

From the other end of the circle – by giving generously!

When we give first before we actually fully have what we really want – what we dream of – we send a very powerful message to ourselves that says, “there is enough, and more will come”. It allows us to experience the joy today – the joy of giving.

All we need to do is give out the love in ample measures to others. It just returns to us. Giving love is the only way to be fully loved. When we acknowledge the greatness of others’ achievements, and their great qualities, again, that recognition comes back to us. They recognize us, because we are ready to recognize them.

In the same way, if we wanted to have enough in our life materially, financially and emotionally, we just need to share the things we want generously with others.

Some are ready to give more physical things like time. Others opt to give what they can spare financially, like money. Those who give more (time, money, compassion, love, thoughts) have these things in abundance because it is the surplus. And surplus is the natural law of life.

Remind oneself of the rules of the game.

Important rule: never give anything expecting a return.

When we have the anticipation that giving involves ‘getting’ something back, we become unhappy when we do not see the thing returning to us fast. We may even feel unhappy towards the one who gets the gift. And having a negative feeling for someone is definitely not a right state of affairs! So we can know the real pleasure of giving when we are doing it with the awareness that we are actually doing it for ourselves – we are doing it for our own pleasure!

Losing to succeed, giving to receive.

It may initially feel like we are losing out. Yet at some level we know that getting without giving is not a sustainable life model. And we’ve known that from the very beginning. That’s why tithing has been such a natural part of the lives of many successful people. And they didn’t always do it publicly so it wasn’t done to gain a better reputation. It was just because that was the way it was.

Just take a look around. ‘Simple’ forms of life on the earth do it routinely. The bumblebees fertilize the flowers in return for the honey they take from them and ensure that the flowers bloom profusely. Habitually. That is the rule. They do not do it consciously. That is why they maintain nature’s balance, without even trying.

Giving is just a part of who we are, the same as having; nothing more or less. No complications, no strings attached; just letting go.

The essence of getting more can be stated in two steps: Give first, and do not expect to get anything in return.

When we let go and give open-handedly, what we require would come to us. On its own.

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